The newest trend: delayed funerals

An article in the StarTribune explains why more and more families are opting to delay funerals to a time that's more convenient for everyone.

When Sue Walker's dad died in January, she immediately began planning his services -- for July. To honor her father... Walker and far-flung family members will play some golf and cards, drink some scotch and "call it a day," she said. "If we can have everybody here and do something he loved, it will be more of a tribute," Walker said.

Although some funeral experts suggest immediate services to help in the grieving process, more families are waiting weeks or even months to hold memorials...

"Each circumstance is different," said Daniel McGraw of Gill Brothers Chapels. "My neighbor's mom just died and they just don't want to go out to the cemetery until the spring. ... Sometimes they don't want to pull the kids out of school or they have a long-planned vacation to Mexico and they don't want to lose the $1,000 they already paid for the trip."

In a few cases, people just have difficulty finding an open date in their hectic schedules.

"It's sad but true," McGraw said. "A lot of people's lives are busy, and they're postponing funerals for convenience's sake. It's a sign of the times."

...Although delayed funerals aren't the norm, funeral directors say they are becoming more frequent, coinciding with the increase in cremations. State statistics show 46.8 percent of those who died in Minnesota in 2009 were cremated, compared to 15.8 percent in 1990. Once Aunt Martha's body is cremated, it's a lot easier to hold her services weeks, if not months, later...

"Thirty or 40 years ago, everyone did it about the same," said Philip Sellew, University of Minnesota professor of classical and Near Eastern studies. That meant a two- to three-day visitation immediately after someone died followed by funeral services in the mortuary or a church, then a procession to the cemetery. A luncheon often followed the burial...

"It's an important family discussion," Ellis said. "What would Grandma want us to do? It could be that Grandma would really be pissed off if we were late to her funeral or postponed it. Or maybe Grandma would want us to go on vacation. ... It's all situational."

But don't wait too long, cautions Gill Brothers' McGraw. "They'll say they'll schedule in the spring, and then never do it. Out of sight, out of mind," he said. "I have a closet full of cremates."

More at the link. Photo credit Richard Sennott, Star Tribune.